Always
by ditzymagic
Summary: Harry looks at her like she is the only thing that holds him together. Hermione looks at him like they are the only two people in the world. And he is always on the edge, on the outside, looking in.


**A/N:**

 **Written for the International Wizarding School Championship.**

 **School and Year: Durmstrang, Year 3**

 **Theme: Hogwarts**

 **Prompt: Heartbreak [Main], Diagon Alley, Original Character**

 **Word Count: 2327**

* * *

 _Always_.

The word had meant more to Sebastian than he had realized.

It had meant hope, resolve and so much love.

His mother's words–

" _I love you, darling. Always."_

His school–

 _"Hogwarts would always be safe for everyone."_

His sister's promise–

" _We will always stick to each other."_

Sebastian had known the price of war. He had understood what his conviction had meant when he had declared his allegiance for the Order. Even as his house had been blown apart by the Death Eaters. Even as his family had been murdered right in front of him.

He had stuck to what he had believed in.

Because it had been the _right_ thing to do.

* * *

But, he had nightmares every day.

His mother would crumple in front of him, dying in a pool of her blood.

Again and again and again–

And she would whisper the same thing.

 _"Always."_

* * *

After the heavy losses at the Battle of Hogwarts, a stalemate had begun.

An impasse that had lasted four years.

Sebastian knew it would not have lasted long had Harry Potter been in his right mind to face Voldemort.

However, as he observes Harry Potter's dull eyes intently watching a brown-haired figure in the distance, Sebastian fears Potter would never be in his right mind again.

He knows why.

Everyone they had loved was dead and gone.

There was no reason to _fight_.

But, as Sebastian turns to watch the brown-haired figure, he knows he does not need a lot of reasons, he just needs _one_.

* * *

As Hermione Granger finishes her patrol around the parameter, she strengthens the wards around the Diagon Alley.

Sebastian smiles as she walks towards him.

She gives him a weary smile.

She sighs and buries herself in his embrace, mumbling incoherently.

Sebastian chuckles at her. He tries to ignore the heated glare from the green-eyed boy even as he tightens his hold on Hermione.

* * *

Hogwarts lay in ruin, as did most of Britain.

The Order had fought a long and hard fight. But, their numbers had dwindled over the months.

Now, around thirty people lived in the Hogsmeade Village after McGonagall had extended Hogwarts' protection wards over to the village.

Majority of the Order members lived in the Diagon Alley. Most of the buildings had been destroyed beyond repair and they have set up a camp in the area. They had warded the entire place with the surprising help of Goblins, making sure the Leaky Cauldron stayed a quick getaway for them.

Goblins were still unpleasant as ever, maintaining their position in the bank under the ruse of protecting 'Goblin-made objects'.

Hermione was the only one brave enough to volunteer for patrol over the route which faced Gringotts.

She was also the only one who volunteered for the morning patrol of the Hogsmeade station. Hogwarts remained a sore spot for many, a place no one wanted to remember.

But, Hermione liked to switch between their two 'safe places'.

Sometimes, Sebastian would find her near the station, just standing and watching Hogwarts at a distance.

He wondered what memories assailed her, whether they were good or bad.

He wondered if he would ever have the courage to ask her.

* * *

Sleep is never easy for them.

Sebastian knows Hermione lies awake most nights in their small tent near Flourish and Botts.

She does not toss and turn, but lies still facing the ceiling of their tent.

He had once tried to talk to her. A long time ago, when times had been better and Hermione had been less troubled.

However, she had not returned to their tent for weeks and so, Sebastian had stopped asking questions.

But, he had wondered.

Wondered who she had gone to during those weeks.

And he still wondered.

Wondered if she was haunted by the Weasley boy or the Boy-Who-Lived.

He did not know which was worse.

The boy who was dead or the boy who was barely alive.

* * *

Sebastian knows who the heart and the head of the camp are.

He knows a lot of things.

He has heard the whispers.

Everyone believes that they would have won the war a long time ago had Harry and Hermione actually tried.

But, Harry and Hermione are barely friends.

Something had broken between them a long time before Sebastian had been in the picture.

People talk about a _Golden Trio_ and deep friendship, but Sebastian has never seen it.

It is hard to believe in relics.

He has seen the pictures, old ones. Some he had found while snooping around another safe house- _Grimmauld Place_.

He has seen the evidence.

Harry Potter's infamous green eyes had sparkled once.

Hermione Granger's smile had been warmer than the sun.

Now, most of the time, their eyes are cold and dead.

Colder than the frost that surrounds Britain.

Dead as the friendship that had tied them together once.

Hence, he does not believe in their _friendship._

* * *

But, during the long cold nights, Sebastian thinks.

Hermione is awake beside him and he pretends to sleep.

He thinks about Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

He wonders if it would ever be possible to break a connection between two people who are tethered to one another.

Sebastian knows it is impossible because despite all the effort Harry and Hermione put in ignoring each other, they can never forget the other.

When Harry goes on a mission, Hermione always seems to stop herself from volunteering. In a twisted way, Harry seems to always want to break Hermione's resolve. The more dangerous the mission is, the better.

Other people always put their foot down before Hermione can say anything.

Harry always goes anyway.

Hermione never says anything.

When Hermione travels, Harry does not sleep for days. He paces around the camp, worried out of his mind, only to ignore her when she finally comes back.

This is a snapshot of their behavior when they are apart from one another.

When they are together, it is another story altogether.

Sebastian's heart burns when he thinks about the way Harry looks at Hermione sometimes. He looks at her like she is the only thing that holds him together.

 _But._

Nothing is worse than the unguarded looks Hermione gives Harry. She looks at him like they are the only two people in the world.

It hurts.

It hurts because Sebastian knows that it is true. He has lived in denial for too long.

Harry Potter and Hermione Granger _are_ the only two people in their world.

The only two people who can make a difference and win this damn war.

And maybe it is about damn time that they do.

* * *

Just as Sebastian musters up his courage to talk to Hermione, he finds out that she is already two steps ahead of him.

Hermione and Harry are sitting together on a bench near the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, bent over some maps.

Their postures are stiff with tension.

He can see Hermione's clenched fists.

But, they are talking and planning for the first times in years.

Despite everything, Sebastian feels a faint hope.

He is not the only one who feels so.

People go about their chores, their faces intrigued as they watch the two figures.

They know that there is nothing that can save them. Hope has a very high cost these days.

And yet, seeing Harry Potter and Hermione Granger working together is a miracle.

Because, if they can try so can everyone else.

And so, it begins.

They try.

Every day.

It is not much, but it is the best they can hope for.

* * *

Within weeks, they storm some of the highly guarded Death Eater holds.

The renewed hope is a beautiful but dangerous thing.

Sebastian wants the war to end.

He wants to live and not just survive.

But, he wonders what living after the war would mean.

Selfishly, he wants Hermione to himself. He wants the walls Harry and Hermione had built around themselves to stand tall again.

He craves the way Hermione once only needed _him._

After a long and arduous journey, they are _finally_ winning.

But, Sebastian questions what he is losing in the process.

* * *

Sebastian had been in his sixth year at Hogwarts when he had heard that Harry Potter had joined Hogwarts as a first year.

His family had been on the neutral side during the war.

But, Sebastian had never believed in the rot about blood purity.

While he had been growing up, he had heard a lot about Harry Potter. He had been a source of inspiration for a lot of kids. People had wanted a symbol of hope and what better symbol than Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived?

Someone Sebastian would not have minded being friends with.

But, when Harry Potter had finally come to Hogwarts, Sebastian had been old enough to quell his curiosity about the Boy-Who-Lived and his friends.

He had gone on with his life, passed the sixth year and eventually, the N.E.W.T.s.

However, he had always kept an ear out for Harry Potter and his escapades.

When the time had come to make a choice, Sebastian had not hesitated to choose the Light side.

He had doomed his family and his own life.

But he had chosen _Harry_ _Potter_ , the symbol of courage and bravery.

* * *

Except when he had finally met Harry Potter, he had never been more disappointed in his life.

Their Savior had been a broken shell of a man.

None of them had been whole after the war. But, there had been only one person a bit more whole than the rest.

 _Hermione Jean Granger._

It had not taken long for Sebastian to see that despite the stories and rumors, Hermione had been the true Savior.

It had taken even less for him to fall head over heels in love with her.

* * *

At first, he had been told, the Order had tried to help Harry.

No one had really known what had been wrong with him.

Hermione had tried to help him, but it had made things worse to the point that it would take them years to barely win a war they would have easily won in a matter of few months.

But, that had been four years ago.

And now, there was so much more sorrow and regret.

Sebastian marveled over Hermione's ability to muster up enough optimism to chase away everyone's demons.

He wished he knew how Hermione chased away her own demons.

* * *

He knew what the history books would say.

He knew they would hail Harry Potter as the true hero.

They would talk about his courage, power, and resilience.

They might even talk about Hermione's optimism, quick wits, and bravery.

They would never talk about the sorrow, the pain, and the hollowness.

They would never talk about _Sebastian_ and his sacrifices.

The books would brush over Harry Potter's madness and desolation.

Just like they would brush over the _true_ Savior of their story.

* * *

They have set a trap for Voldemort, dangling the last _(destroyed)_ horcrux as the bait.

And they know he would come right to their hiding place.

There are not many Death Eaters left.

Both armies have low numbers.

Sebastian taps his wand on his thigh as he leaves what used to be Ollivanders.

His step almost falters as he spies Hermione standing in her usual spot.

Harry Potter is standing right next to her.

They are both staring at Gringotts, standing still with some space between them that could have easily fit another body.

They are not talking, they are not even touching but they are together in a sense no one else has the right to be.

His throat burns and he turns away from the unbearable sight.

He knows that Harry and Hermione together are the best chance they have.

He knows this is the only way they might actually win.

But still, he wishes for things he knows he can never have.

* * *

There is some tension in the air, some strange anticipation for the battle that awaits them tomorrow.

Hermione slips into their tent and sits down to take her boots off.

She gets into their bed without making a sound.

Hermione slips her hand into his and Sebastian closes his eyes.

Her hand is cold and Sebastian wonders about the ghosts they will have to bury.

He knows what is between him and Hermione might have been nothing.

He tightens his hold because he can never let go of that nothing.

* * *

An owl hoots in the distance.

Sebastian thinks about the battle.

He is almost convinced that it might go their way.

Voldemort is walking into an ambush and one way or another, he is going to die. They have worked meticulously over the past few weeks, layering traps over traps around the perimeter of Diagon Alley.

Sebastian contemplates what might happen.

 _If_ there is a final battle, _if_ they actually manage to survive until the end, he knows Harry's eyes would find Hermione's in the end.

Just like he knows Hermione would never be able to look away from Harry.

Sebastian imagines the scene.

He thinks about the flashes of spells and curses. He thinks about Voldemort _finally_ falling down. He thinks about two sets of eyes. Brown eyes and green eyes, filled with love, anguish, heartbreak, and relief.

He hopes he dies before he has to witness the final scene.

Because he knows what it would be.

There is no magic strong enough in their world to keep Harry and Hermione apart.

He knows they would find each other in the end.

He knows that they would cling to one another, ignoring every cheer and applause and oblivious to everyone else.

Eventually, they would become the Sun. They would become the center and everyone would just orbit around them.

The rest of the world ( _he_ ) would be on the precipice but never quite there.

They ( _he_ ) would never be able to truly reach them.

And it would likely stay that way.

 _Always_.

 _-fin-_


End file.
